Joke

He:Har kutte ka din aata hai

Feminist: Male Chauvinist! Kutti ka kyu nahi?

H:Har kutti ka din aata h

F: Kutti kisse bola?Respect Women

Husband Wife Joke

Santa Ne Apni Biwi Ka Shaadi Ki Pehli Raat Ko Hi Qatl Kar Diywa.

Kyunki Biwi Ki Undergarments Mein Likha Tha:

100% Soft & Silky.
Tested By ROOP CHAND & SONS.
Kolkata

Santa Banta Joke

santa 2 shopkeeper

santa:" muje mere car me nayi battery lagwani
hai
.
.
shopkeeper:" Exide laga du ??
. .
.
.
.
.
. .
.
.
.
Santa:" ek-side kyu be, jab paise pure de raha hu
to dono side laga k
de...

Joke

Abe Khajur, Zoo se bhaage hue Langur, abe Sade hue Kele ke Chhilke, Chuse hue Aam, Circus k Retired Bander, (Aisa kisi ko na kehna Feel hota hai).

Santa Banta Joke

santa sucide bcoze he could not understand why his sister has two brothe nd he has only one.

Joke

1st woman-kuchh suna ya nahi bharat ne hindustan par hamlakardiya hai
2nd woman- hame dar hai ki kahin ek missile mere pe nagir jaye
3rd woman-arre tumsab fikra kyon kartihohum india me rahte hai.

Joke

Tcher- Aaj short skirt Q Pahan K Aayi ho
Girl- Sir Aaj Half Day H Na Isliye, Full Day Par Full dress Pahnti Hu
All boys- Sirrrrrrrr,,,
Holiday ko class lo na!

Joke

7 Sur Jisme Aap Chhupe Ho . . .
1. Saa
2. Re
3. Ga
4. Maa
5. Paa
6. Dha
7. Nee
8. Saa

Khud Ko Pehchanane Ke Liye Sirf

3 Aur 6 Ko Padho...

Joke

Ghar me practice karna:
1. Ek angoor lo
2. Hath me pakro
3. Ab apne danto k beech me rakho
4. Ab ahista se sheeshe me dekho
WAH! LANGOOR K MUNH ME ANGOOR.:-

Joke

thandi-2 hawa chali,
wah-2

thandi-2 hawa chali,

mausam hua suhana,

BANDAR bhi sms padh rah hai,

EDUCATED hua zmana

Joke

Plz call me,
its urgent.
Ek accident ho gaya hai.
.
.
.
.
.
Aap ka hi blood group chahiye,
Plz mana mat karna
.
.
Warna
.
.
GADHA mar jayega

Joke

Dear Autocorrect,
It's 'properly' not 'property', please mind my gareebi.

Joke

Accha ek baat batao:- Ghadha Tanhai me kaya mehsush kerta hai?
??
??
??
??
??
??
??
??
??
koi jalldi nahi hai mehsush ker kebata dena....

Joke

Jb se mobile me hanuman chalisha download ki hai, tb se aapke msg aane band ho gye hain...sach hai ki
'Bhoot pisach nikat nahi aave mahabir jab naam sunave..."

Santa Banta Joke

Santa flight me pilot ka
headphone cheen raha tha...
.

Pilot:-Ye kya kar rahe ho..?.
.

Santa:- Accha ji Ticket hum le
aur Gaane tum suno...!!

Santa Banta Joke

Santa says:" Duniya Ka har ek Insan Apne Paav
Bhigoye Bina Shayad Samundar Paar Kar Saktahai..
.
.
.
. .
.
.
.
.
. Lekin Ankhe Bhigoe Bina
"Pyar" Nahi Kar Sakta"..
.
.
Aaj Santa Serious hai. Plz.

Joke

Munna Bhai Ke ghar LADKI hUE.
Circuit- Bhai ab to muhale ke, Sare ladke isko line marenge.
MUNNA- Tu fikar mat kar re, Apun iska naam DIDI rakhenge.

Joke

Har desh ki ek sarhad huti hai . . . .bache ki bhe ek zid hoti hai. . . . Aur kitna intezaar karo tere sms ka kanjusi ki bhi koi had huti hai

Joke

Rose is Laal,
Sky is Neela &
Your mind is Khali Pateela.
Sorry Bura lga kya?

COFFEE is Hot,
Water is Cool,
I'm Smart & You're Fool.
Lo or Bura Maan lo...

Santa Banta Joke

Santa To Banta..
Santa-: Mere Mama Ne Mujhse
Choti Si Baat Pe Rishta Tod
Diya..
.
.
Banta-: Kyu..??
Kya Kaha Unhone..?
.
.
.
Santa-: Unhone Kaha
.
.
.
.
.
.
Mungfali Me Dana Nahi,
Hum Tumhare Mama Nahi..
Hahahaha.

Santa Banta Joke

Santa In Court ( Sad ) : Bachpan Mein Agar Maa Ki
Baat Suni Hoti To Aaj Ye Din Nahi Dekhna Padta
.
.
.
.
.
Judge : Kya Kehti Thi Tumhari Maa ?
.
.
.
.
.
.
Santa : Judge Sahab Tum Bhi Gawaaro Wali Baat
Kar Rahe Ho...Jab Suni Hi Nahi To Bataau Kaise..
xD

Joke

Hamara Paper tha aur Hum Udas ho gaye,
Humne Puri Sheet pe aapki TASVIR bana dali aur Hum pass ho gaye,
kaise?
..
?
?
?
Qki Paper DRAWING ka tha
aur CAARTOON banana tha

Santa Banta Joke

3 chor Santa , Golu aur Pappu ...
police se bachne ke liye 3 borio me
chup
gaye.
Police wale ne pehle bori par lat
maari.
Santa bola: bow bow..
Police wala: Isme kutta hai.
Fir dusri bori par lat mari..
Golu bola: meow meow...
Policewala: Isme billi hai...
Fir teesri bori par laat maari to koi
awaaz
nahi aayi.
Toh usne do laat maari fir bhi koi
awaaz nahi
aayi
fir 20-25 laat marne ke baad Pappu
zor se
bola:
Saale haramkhor aaloo hun aaloo.

Santa Banta Joke

Santa ki umbrella mein hole tha.. To uske bete ne use pucha : papa chatri mein hole kyon?
.
.
.
.
.
.
Santa : are gadhe agar barish rukegi to pata kese calega?

Santa Banta Joke

Santa Class Me Has Raha Tha 1 Ladki Boli STaND UP Koun Ho Tum?? Santa:Tum Koun Ho? Ladki: Mai MONITOR Hun. Santa: Ha.ha.. TeRE Din Gaye pagli ab laptop or LCD ka zamana hai.

Joke

Na Dil ko behlane ke liye,
Na ghar me sajane ke liye.
Bas aapki ek tasweer chahiye,
Apne khet se "Kauve" bhagane ke
liye.!
Hurrrrrrrrr..!

Santa Banta Joke

3 Poultry Farms ki Inspection ho rhi thi...

Inspector: Tum Murgion ko kya dete ho ?
Banta: Bajra

Inspector: Wrong Food

Arrest him

Inspector: Tum kya dete ho ?

Banta's relative: Rice

Inspector: Tum Bhi galat ho

Arrest him too

Santa ghabra k bola: main to sab Murgion ko 5-5 rupay de deta hu jis ka jo dil kare kha le...

Joke

Shiv aur paruati
kabhi computer nahi sikh paya....

Batao kyo?

Kyuki!

Kyoki Ganeshji bar bar mouse leke bhag jate the !

Joke

Gadha jo khaye wo ghas ho tum
Buddhe ka chyawanprash ho tum
Idiot, stupid, bakwas ho tum
Par jo bhi ho! yaar! dost jhakas ho tum

Husband Wife Joke

Santa's wife:"Agar DUNIYA mein aurat na hoti
to tumhare pant ke button kaun takta..???
.
.
.
.
.
.
Santa:"yadi duniya mein aurat na hoti to pant
pehnne ki jarurat hi kya thi..???

Joke

Washing pwdr nirma
Washing pwdr nirma
Dudh c safedi nirma se aye..
Rangin kapda b khil khil jaye.
Sabhki pasand nirma..

Paglo ko kuch b bhej do padte jarur ho.

Santa Banta Joke

Santa Bank me paise jama karane gaya.

Cashier-
Tumhare Note nakli hai.

Santa-
Tujhe kya farak padata hai?
Jama to Mere Account me ho rahe hai na..!!=D =))

Joke

Tbyt thik nhi thi Tantrik ko dikhaya , usne kaha 2m par bhoot ka saya h kisi papi ko sms kro thik ho jaoge,
sms krte hi achcha feel ho rha h.

Santa Banta Joke

Salesman: sir, cockroach k liye powder loge kya?

Santa: " Nahi, hum cockroach ko itna laad-pyar nahi karte! Aaj powder laga denge to kal sala DEO mangega!"
=D :p =)

Joke

"Thandi hai "Coffee" garam kar lo,
"Is pathar "Dil" ko thoda naram kar lo,
"Tumahre hote hue kisi or k "msg" aa rhe h, "Thodi si to "Sharam" kar lo.G.m.

Joke

Khud Ko Kr le Kanjus itna
Ki Hr SmS Bhejne Se Pehle
Service Provider khud Call Kr Ke Apse Pooche-

sir Ji,
R u sure
msg Bhejna hai
ya Sending Fail Kr du..

Santa Banta Joke

Boss-apki shadi
ho gayi?

Santa-Haanji,1ladki
se huyi he

Boss-Shaadi to ladki se
hi hoti he

Santa-Naa ji
meri behan ki to
ladke Se huyi he...:p

Santa Banta Joke

Train mein warning likhi thi :- Bina ticket safar karne wale yaatri "Hoshiyaar."

Santa :- Waah BC, toh jisne ticket li woh "Chutiye"??:p =)) X_X

Joke

Ghar me practice karna:
1. Ek angoor lo
2. Hath me pakro
3. Ab apne danto k beech me rakho
4. Ab ahista se sheeshe me dekho
WAH! LANGOOR K MUNH ME ANGOOR.:-

Joke

Beti-Me padosi se pyar krti hu aur me uske sath bhag rhi hu

Bap-paise aur time 2no bach gye

Beti-me leter pdh rhi hu,jo mummy rakh k gyi he.

Joke

Ek susst admi.
Hum to subah se sham tak,so-so ke thak gye,fir kya doston thak Ke fir so gye

Santa Banta Joke

SANTA 1 Kilo Jalebi Khane Ke
Baad Bola: "Bhaiya Thodi Cheeni Do"..
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
DUKANDAR: Cheeni Kyun???
.
.
.
.
.
SANTA: "Soch Raha HU, Khane Ke
Baad Kuch Mitha Ho JAAYE"

Joke

Ek pagl tha
Itna pagl tha,

Bilkul pagl tha,

Jabardast pagl tha,

Bahut khatarnak pagl tha,

Lekin Aap mat ghabrao
Aapke samne to wo kuch b nhi tha.

Joke

adhu Baba ne arz Kiya hai -
Dil hai sachha aur dimaag hai kacha
Wah wah
.
Dil h sachha aur dimaagh hai Kacha
.
Tere msgs nahi aa rhe,,, kya baat hai Bacha...

Santa Banta Joke

Santa-tu mirror k saamne baith kr q pad rha hai...
.
.
.
.
.
.
Banta- iske 3 reason hain....
.
1. saath mein revision ho jaati hai
.
.
.
.
.
2. khud pr nazar rhti hai
.
.
..
.
.
.
.
3. padne k lie company mil jati hai

Santa Banta Joke

!!height of kaminapan!!!
.
.
RAILWAY INTERVIEW:-Interviewer:- agar do gaadiyan ek line pe aa gayi to kya karoge?
.
.
Santa:- Jee, red light dikhaunga.
.
.
.
Interviewer:- Red light na hoto?
.
.
Santa:- Torch dikhaunga..
.
.
Interviewer:- Torch naho to?
.
.
.
Santa:- Apni red shirt utaar kar dikhaunga.
.
.
.
Interviewer:- Shirt bhi red na huyi to?
.
.
Santa:- Fir main apne bua ke ladke ko bulaunga...
.
.
.
Interviewer:- Hain..!! Wo kyun?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Socho socho ??
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

Santa:- Jee, usne kabhi traino ki takkar nahi dekhi..

Santa Banta Joke

Shaadi mein santa bahut der se khana kha raha tha...kisi ne pucha, kab tak khaoge ?
Sardar - Mai toh khud pareshan hoon .....par card me likha hai,
"Dinner 7-12pm"

Joke

Apki Kahani Meri Jubani :-


Apke pas dimag hai,


Chalta nahi alag baat hai,



Aap smart ho,

Koi manta nahi alag baat hai.

Aap shareef ho,

Lagte nahi alag baat hai.

Kaafi izzat hai aapki,

Koi karta nahi alag baat hai.

Aapki beizzati ho rahi hai,
Phir bhi msg padh rahe ho,
Kya baat hai.

Joke

Tu chand mange me chand dedu, tu raat mange me raat dedu, tu dil mange me dil dedu, tu jaan mange... Bas yaar Bhik mangne ki bhi ek limit hoti hai

Joke

Jab jab barsa sawan teri yaad ayi,jab jab kadka badal teri yaad ayi,jab jab bhiga mein teri yaad ayi,ab raha nahi jata "CHHATRI"lauta de mere bhai.

Joke

God has given many qualities to you, Good look, personality, charm, intelligence, And many more......this is call as "Allah meherbaan to gadha bhi pehalwan.

Joke

Yamraj=Ur Time is Over Katrina=Kya koi Rasta He Bachne ka? Yam=Ha! SMS Padhne wale ko KISS Karo Katrina=Oh Shit! Fir to Mujhe Utha Hi Lo.

Santa Banta Joke

Santa ko chand par bhejne ka
faisla hua..
.
.
Aadhe raste
jakar Santa rocket se kood gaya or chillaya......
.
.
kamino aaj to amawasya hai,
chand to hoga hi nahi......

Joke

The speed of "Bhai jaldi call kar balance nahi hai" is faster than "Mutualfundsaresubjecttomarketriskspleasereadtheofferdocumentcarefully".

Joke

Zoo se 3 gadhe farar ho gye
.
.
.
.
pahla TV dekh rha he
.
.
.
.
.
dusra foolball khel rha he
.
.
.
aur
.
.
tisra
.
.
.
.
Are tum nhi, tum hamesha aisa hi Q sochte ho
wo mil hi nhi ria hai...

Santa Banta Joke

Santa:" Mujhe Kitab Likhne Me.. ek Saal Lag Jata Hai..
.
.
.
.
.
Banta:" Itni Mehnat Kyo Karte Ho 15 Rupaye Me

Likhi Hui Kitab Mil Jati Hai... :p :/

Joke

*. . .Agar Koi pyari si Larki Apko
"I LOVE U" Bole
To 3 Baten Ho Skti Hen





1.Uski Aankhen Khrab Hy
2.Ya uska diamag kharab ha
3.Ya Wo khud kharab hai. . .*

Husband Wife Joke

Santa Ke 7 Bachhe The Aur Unme se Ek Alag Hi Dikhta Tha

Usko Apni Biwi Pe Shak Hone Laga Tha Ki Wo Alag Dikhne Wala Bachcha Kisi Aur Ka Hai.

Par Santa Mein Biwi Se Ye Baat Puchne Ki Himmat Nahi Hoti Thi.

Isi Soch Soch Mein Vo Beemar Ho Gaya.

Jab Uska Akhri Waqt Najdik Aya Aur Vo Akhri Saanse Le Raha Tha To Apni Biwi Ko Bulaya

Santa : Dekho Tumhe Meri Kasam Hai,
Sach Sach Batana Ki Ye Alag Sa Dikhne Wala Bacha Kiska Hai ?

Wife : Ji Ab Aap Mar Rahe Ho Aur Marte Hue Aadmi Se Juth Nahi Bola Jata,

Main Aapko Sach Batana Chahti Hun...

Santa Dukhi Mann Se : Kya ?

Wife : Wo Sabse Alag Dikhne Wala Hi Sirf Aapka Bachha Hai...

Husband Wife Joke

Bhai ko bhai sE juda kar deti hai
"GF"
Maa ko bete se juda kar deti
hai"GF"
Biwi aur pati ke beech jhagde
paida kar deti hai"GF"
Insan ko duniya se juda kar deti
hai"GF"
Gharon me jhagda paida kar deti
hai"GF"
"GF"matlab -"Galat Fehmi"...... jo
is waqt aap ko hui hai! / .
.
.
Girl Friend to bechari Masoom hoti
hai.......

Santa Banta Joke

Sir: Define Energy ?

Santa: Sir pura nai aata hain, thoda last ka pata hain, bas.

Sir: Thik hain, jitna aata hain utna bolo.

Santa: ".....and this is called Energy"

Santa Banta Joke

Santa makes cal 2 airport: Hw long is da journey frm punjab 2 America??

Receptionist:1 sec sir..
.
.
.
.
Santa disconnects n says,
''pee ke bethi h kamini

Joke

Murga:- I love u.
Murgi:- Ha ha....
Murga:- Mai tere liye kuch v kar sakta hu....
Murgi:- Really??
Murga:- Yes..
Kya karu batao.
Murgi:- Bataun...
.
.
.
Bataun...
.
.
.
Chal anda de...!

Joke

Arz kiya hai...
Mere kamare me udate hai Badal...

Wah.. Wah..
Mare kamare me udate hai Badal...

Me Bhejta Hu sMs Aur Padhate Hai Pagal...

Santa Banta Joke

Santa- Yaar,
Maine Ek Naye Detergent Se
Apna Underwear Dhoya Toh
Woh Chota Ho Gya, Ab Kya Karu? Banta- Simple,
Usi Detergent se Apne Hips Dho
Lo..

Joke

Sms b kmal ki cheej h,
20 nlaykon ko karo,
10 pdte hi nahi,
5 delet kr dete h,
4 ka inbox full hota h.
Bas 1 hi pagal pura msg pdta h.
Mera msg pdne k liye thnx

Santa Banta Joke

Santa at petrol pump
Bhai 1rs ka petrol dal do.

Salesman: Bhai itna sara petrol
dalva ke kahan jana hai?

Santa: Jana kahan hai hum
to aise hi paise urate hain!!

Teacher Joke

AIRPORT
par
AIR INDIA
ki
FLIGHT #9
ke
Plane
Ki
SEAT #52
par
Baithe
PASSENGER
K
saath
Mein
Khadi
AIR HOSTESS
K
BOY FRIEND
K
ghar
k
BED ROOM
K
ATTACH
BATHROOM
K
RIGHT
SIDE
WALI
WINDOW
K
SAATH
WALI
GALEE
K
PEHLE
MOD
PAR
MAUJOOD
SCHOOL
KI
CLASS
4th
K
TEACHER
Ke
TABLE
K
SAMNE
WALI
ROW
KI
4th
BENCH
K
SAATH
WALI
BENCH
PAR
BAITHE
HUE
STUDENT
K
BAG
MEIN
PADI
HUI
ENGLISH
KI
BOOK
K
PAGE #57
KI
LINE #10
MEIN
LIKHA
THA
KI
DOOSRON
KA
TIME WASTE
KARNA
BURI BAAT HAI........
Magar mujhe toh mazaa aata hai.....ha ha

Joke

Suna Hai Aapki Ek Muskan Pr Hr Koi Marta Hai,
Zara Time NikaaL Ke Aayiye To.
Ek Chuha Marwana Hai.
Bahut Din Se Pareshan Kar Rakha Hai,,"

Joke

Gabar= Are o samba, ye koun log hain jo $m$ ka jawab nehi deta..
Samba= Sardar ye wo khatarnak log hai jo Miss Call karne k bad v balance check karte hain..

Santa Banta Joke

SAnTa k ghar
.
shadi
k 20 saal baad bacha hua
.
.
.
,Wo udaas ho gaya,.
.
.
.
2nd sardar:
Yaar udaas kiu ho ?.
.
.
.
.
1st Sardar:20 saal baad bacha hua
wo bhi
"CHOTA SA..

Santa Banta Joke

Santa plane land hote hi chillane lga.
.
.
Bnglore aya banglore aya.
Balle Balle
.
'Air Hostess: Hello sir.
B silent
.
.
Santa- ok anglore aya anglore aya
.
alle alle .

Santa Banta Joke

Santa:" Kal meri shadi hai aur ladki walo ne kam log bulaye hai..
.
.
.
.
Banta:" To isme problem kya hai ??
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Santa:" pata nahi papa mujhe le jaynge ya nahi... :/

Joke

Whatsapp aapke phone ki battry chusta hain.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Aur Whatsapp Groups aapka khoon

Santa Banta Joke

Santa banta joke
Girl. Kya tum mujse shadi karogi

Santa. Humare ghar sabki shadi relatives se hi hoti he jaise mummy ki papa se , bahiya ki bhabhi se, didi ki jija se

Joke

if sumone calls u crazy,dont mind,
if sumone calls u duffer,relax,
if sumone calls u stupid be cool,
but if sumone calls u "cute"
.
.
.
.
lagana thappar os pagal ke monhpe,
mazak ki b koi hud hoti hai

Husband Wife Joke

SANTA:
Shimla ja raha hu.......
Raste me Wife ko khayi me gira dunga.
BANTA:
Meri bhi le ja yaar.........
ushe bhi gira dena.
.
.
.
SANTA:
Agar tu Bura na mane
to
use Wapsi me gira du ?

Joke

Chidya ghar se 3 bandar bgag gaye
1 tv dekhta pakda gaya
2ra footbl khelta pakda gaya
jaldi pakdo 3ra yeh sms padh raha hai

Joke

12 Saal K Ladke Ne 20 Saal Ki Ladki Ko Phool Dia

Ladki Ne Kiss Dia
Wo Ghabra K Bhaga

Ladki Ne Pucha:
Kya Hua

Ladka:
Guldasta Le K Aa Raha Hu

Joke

Relationship status for married men....

dhobi ka kutta

Na ex- ka...
Na next ka...

Joke

Ek Dogy subah se sham tak Bhokta rhta tha....BAO.BAO...BAO.BAO...BAO.BAO...BAO.BAO...BAO.BAO...BAO..................Ha bilkul aise hi...

Husband Wife Joke

"Sholay Film Mein Sabse Badi Tragedy
Kya Thhi?"
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Answer: "Pehle To Gabbar Ne
Thakkur Ki Biwi Maar Di Aur Phir Bechhare
Ke Haath Bhi Kaat Diye." xD xP

Joke

1 ladka gadhe k samne gir gaya. 1 khubsurat ladki ne dekha aur kaha,"Apne bade bhai k pair chhu rahe ho?" Ladka bola,"JI BHABHI JI!"

Santa Banta Joke

In Biology practical exam:

Teacher: Is panchi k tange dekh k bataao ki iska naam kya hai..

Santa: Tange dekh k kaise bataao be..?
Teacher: NAALAKYAK!! Tumher zero milta hai. Apna naam bataao.!!

Santa: Ye le..meri taange dekh k likh le...:p :p

Joke

apne roop pr itna gurur na kro ye sb 2 din ki hasti h
aapke chahre pr tb tk masti h
jb tk
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Fair & lovly sasti hai

Joke

Bandar ped par kyu sote he?
?
?
?
?
?
Chalo jane do,
Ye tumhara personal mamla he,
Muje kya?
Bas gir mat jana...

Santa Banta Joke

Santa Class Me Has Raha Tha
1 Ladki Boli STaND UP Koun Ho Tum??

Santa:Tum Koun Ho?

Ladki: Mai MONITOR Hun.

Santa: Ha.ha..
TeRE Din Gaye pagli ab laptop or LCD ka zamana hai.

Santa Banta Joke

Santa : Main Tere Pyar Mein
Lut Gaya,
Barbad Ho Gaya ,Badnaam Ho
Gaya.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Pinky : Haram Khor To Main
Kaun Sa
Engineer Ya Doctor Ban Gayi.

Joke

Dunya buri hosakti h
AAP NAHI

Log bure hosakte h
AAP NAHI

Dunya bewaffa hosakti h
AAP NAHI

Pagal thek hosakte h
AAP NAHI.!!!!!

Joke

Gf- I love you.
Boy- Tell me any diffrant style.
Gf- TERE LASH KO AAG LAGANE KAMOKA MERE BETE KO DEGA KYA.

Santa Banta Joke

EkdUm jAkkAs:-

Santa ne cooking contest main part lia aur khali bartan main spoon firane laga.

JUDGE: Kya bana rahe ho?

Santa: "Chutiya"=D =))

Husband Wife Joke

Santa apne Marriage
Certificate ko ek ghante se
dekh raha tha.
Biwi boli:tussi inni der se ki dekh
rahe ho?
Santa:Expiry Date dekh raha
hu.

Joke

Duniya ke 5 sch
1-aap apne sabhi danto ko apne toung se nai chu skte.


2-sabhi bewkuf ye sun kr waisa krte hai

3-ab aap muskura rahe hai bkoz aap bewkuf bn gaye hai

4-ab aap is msg ko kisi ko frwad krne ki soch rahe hai

5-kyoki aap akele bewkuf nai Banana chahte hai.

Joke

Achha Ek Bat Batao,
GADHA Tanhai Me kya Mehsus karta Hai?
*
-
>
Koi Jaldi nhi Hai
Mehsus karke Bata Dena!

Santa Banta Joke

Santa to Banta :-
Agr tu bata de ki meri Tokri me kya h. toh
tokri k aadhe Ande tere..Aur ye bhi bata de ki
Ande Kitne h...
.
to 10 k 10 tere.... Aur
.
agar ye Bhi bata de ki Ande Kiske h...
.
to Murgi bhi teri....
.
Banta :- Abey koi HINT TO De

Joke

Babaji ka MELA laga hai haridwar me.

Prashad me Recharge coupon diye jayenge.

Kisi or ko mat batana
ye sms sirf selected bhikhariyon ko bheja ja raha hai,

Joke

Banta dairy likh raha tha

"aaj meri behan ko baccha hone wala hai
pata nahi ladka hoga ya ladki,
isliye mujhe ye bhi pata nahi ki me
.
.
.
.
mama banunga ya mami"

Santa Banta Joke

Santa Ne Ek Beautiful Ladki Ko Dekha Toh Jaake Usey Kiss Kar Daala !
.
.
Girl:- Stupid Kya Kar Rahe Ho !!?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Santa:- B.C A Final Year.

Santa Banta Joke

Banta: Sante tera restaurant kaisa Chal raha hai?
Santa: Koi Khas nahi.
Banta: Vaise main do bar tere restaurant Aaya, Par wahan pe tala laga hua tha.
Santa : yaar tu lunch ya dinner ke time Aaya hoga.. Uss time humlog khana khane Ghar jate hai

Santa Banta Joke

Fighter pilot santa kamyabi k baad apna jahaaz land karne pe bohut khush hua..
.
.
Niche utarne pe ground staff ne usey hatho hath liya..

aur uski wardi utarne me help karne lage..
.
.
Santa (fakr se):" Aaj maine Pakistan ke 4 jahaaz, 2 helicopter or 1 tank ko mara hai..
.
.
Ground Staff:" Wo sab to theek hai lekin sir ji apne 1
galti kar di..
.
.
Santa:" Kaun si galti.. ??
.
.
Ground Staff:" Bas aap isi khushi me Pakistan me hi land kar gaye hain...:p

Husband Wife Joke

Santa : Mai to Duvidha me Fanss Gaya hu..

Banta: Wo Kaise?

Santa: Yaar Biwi Ke Makeup Ka Kharcha Bardast Nahi Hota, aur Makeup K Bina Biwi Bardast nhi Hoti!....... =D =))

Girlfriend Joke

Paise wala aadmi: aaj mere paas

14 cars
18 dukaan
4 Bangle hain.

Tumhare paas kya hai?
. .
.
.
.
.
.
Gharib aadmi: mere paas 1 beta hai,

jiski girlfriend teri beti hai.. =P =D

Joke

Philosophy of Indian Boys..
.
.
Flirt with Attractive Girl,
Friendship with Smart Girl,
Love with Sincere Girl,
Marriage with...
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Mummy tumhein jo acha lage....:p

Joke

Darna hai to Aahat dekho.

Rona hai to Balika Vadhu dekho.

Nachna hai to Dance India Dance dekho.

Aur hasna hai to

Shisha dekho, Kasam se haste-2 pagal ho jaoge

Santa Banta Joke

SANTA Ne Ladki Dekh Ke Arz
Kiya
.
.
.
. .
.
.
Tere Smile Me Kya Chamak Hai.
.
. .
Wah Wah
.
.
.
. .
Tere Smile Me Kya Chamak
Hai ????
.
.
. .
.
Ladki Boli
.
.
. .
.
.
Bhaiya Yahi To Baat Hy
Mere Toothpste Me NAMAK
Hai.... :p

Santa Banta Joke

Santa :Meri Bevi Itna Mazak Krti Hy
K Kya Bataon
.
.
DosT:Kya Mazak Krti Ha?
.
.
.
.
SAnta :Kal Mai Ghar Gya Uski
Ankhon Par Hath Rakha Or Wo
Mazak Ma Boli
Dudhwala.

Santa Banta Joke

Santa: Yaar Uth Bhukamp Aa Raha Hai, Saara
Ghar Hil Raha Hai.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Banta: Soja-Soja Ghar Girega To Makaan
Maalik Ka, Hum To Kirayedar Hain...

Joke

Humko yun Pagal banana chod do.

Bewajh har bat pe satana chod do.

Tumhari khusbu alag hi hoti hai yaar.

ab to VIM BAR sabun se Nahana chod do.

Joke

RJ: Suno

Aarohi: kya ?
RJ: tere
pyar me ho gaya me vella
mein
tera edward tu meri bella. .
.
.

Aarohi: Bc

Joke

'Chennai Express' 9 August ko aa
rhi
hai. .
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

Kahan gye woh naxali jo patriyaan

Joke

7 Sachchai Duniya Ki...

1) Aapki Aankhe Aapke Jism Ka Wo Hissa Hai Jinhe Aap Sabun Se Nhi Dho Sakte.!

2)Aap Apne Baal Nhi Gin Sakte.!

3)Aapki Zeebh Aapke Sare Danto Ko Nhi Chhu Sakti.!

4) Sirf Bewkuf Log Point No.3 Try Karenge.!

5) Aap Muskura Rahe Ho Qki Aapki Zeebh Aapke Sare Danto Ko Chhu Sakti Hai.!

6) Aap Has Rahe Ho Qki Aap Bewkuf Ban Chuke Ho.!

Santa Banta Joke

anta K Dono Kaan Jal Gaye:

Doctor: Tumharey Kaan Kese jaly?

Santa: Main Qameez Istari Kar Raha tha ke Phone
Aa Gaya.
Main ne Jaldi main Phone ki Jagah Istari Kaan ko
Laga Li.

Doctor: To Doosra Kaan Kese Jala?
.
.
.
.
Santa: Ab Ambulance ko Bhi Phone Karna Tha Na... :p

Joke

'SACH KA SAMNA'
Jawab sirf HAA ya NAA me dena hai.
Aapke liye 1 sawal:-
.
Kya Aapne Bhikhari ke Katore Se Chillar Churana Chhod Diya? Himmt hai to reply karo.

Joke

Achchi Baat To Sabko Achchi Lagti Hai,
Lekin Jab Tumhe Kisi Ki Buri Baat Bhi .
Buri Na Lage To Samjho..
.
.
.
.
Kya Bolu
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Tumhe Zalil Hone Ki Adat Ho Gayi Hai

Joke

1 terorist ne 1 budhiya k ghar me bomb rakh diya.
Log chillaye- Budhiya bomb h!
Budhiya bomb h!
Budhiya sharmakar boli- DHATT, Wo to me 'JAWANI' me thi. Ha,HA..

Santa Banta Joke

Santa Girlfriend ko ghar le gaya
Sab darwaze
Khirkiyan
Band kardi
Light off kar ke
Uske pass aaya Aur bola:
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
Ye
Dekho meri watch me light jalti hai

Joke

Khud Ko Kr le Kanjus itna
Ki Hr SmS Bhejne Se Pehle
Service Provider khud Call Kr Ke Apse Pooche-
sir Ji,
R u sure
msg Bhejna hai
ya Sending Fail Kr du..

Santa Banta Joke

Santa 'suicide' nhi
krne ka
speech de
rha tha.

Santa-
"Suicide nhi
krna chahiye.
Suicide darpok, busdhil,
kaayar log
krte hai...
Suicide krne
se toh acha
hai ki aap
zeher kha lo..."

Joke

Ek bar kuch bandar jangal se bhag gaye phir wo hotel mein phuchen, unme se ek pizza kha raha tha ek burger kha raha tha aur kuch bade dhayan se ye message parh rahe the.

Joke

Aap mujhe itna
pasand ho jaise
-

Ullu ko Raat

Dentist ko daant

Gadahe ko Laat


Garib ko Gaddi


Kutte ko Haddi

aur Nange ko chaddi.

Haso mat.

Pasand ho bas

Joke

Main rah dekh kar thak gaya apka 1 sms bhi nahi aata socha main hi kyun sms kar lu kyunki hum tumse pyaar karte hai aur tum to sirf paise se pyaar karte ho sale kanjush......

Husband Wife Joke

A man was watching a DVD at home.. and jor jor se cheekhne laga .....
Nooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!
Ghode par se mat utar.. Pagal mat utar..
Its a trap!! Its a trap!!
Kutte ki maut Marega saale..
Wife: Kya dekh rahe ho?n
Man: Our wedding DVD!!

Joke

Aaj international Handsome Boys & Beautiful Girls Day hai,
So ye msg unko bhejo jo apki nazar me Smart hai.
.
Imandari se bhejna
.
Meri tarah "MAZAK" mat karna.

Santa Banta Joke

Teacher- jo mere sawal ka sahi jawab dega wo ghar ja sakta hai.

Ussi waqt santa ne apna bag bahar fek diya.

Teacher- wo bag kisne feka?

Santa- maine..ab main ghar jau???

Joke

Jo dil me hai usko jataye rahna, jise chahte ho usko bataye rahna. Nahi to, nahi to, nahi to kya? Nahi to uski shadi me tent aur kursi sajate rahna.

Santa Banta Joke

Santa : Kal Raat Toilet main gaya toh wahan bhoot tha
.
.
.
Banta : "Acha !!!!! Fir Kya hua "
.
.
.
.
.
Santa : Hona Kya tha maine usse Bol diya "Bhai aap hi kar lo Humara toh waise hi nikal Gaya"

Santa Banta Joke

Santa ko neat whisky peeta dekh ek aadmi bola:
"aapne daru mein paani nahi milaya?"

Santa: "Abey main Santa hun; itna paani toh hamare mooh mein daru ko dekhte hi aa jaata hai!" X_X =))

Joke

Meri Baat Gaur Se Suno
.Zindgi me kabhi bhi ..
Dettol Se Mat Nahana
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Dettol Kitaanuo Ko Maar Deta Hai.
Or Hum Apko Khona Nahi
Chahte.!.!

Joke

3 Gadhey Zoo Se Farar Hogae 1st TV Dekh Raha Hy 2nd FOOT Ball Khel Rha Hy 3rd Nhi TUM Nhi Humesha Aisa Hi Q Sochty Ho? Wo Mil Nhi Rha!

Santa Banta Joke

Santa ka interview:
Batao wo kaun si Aurat h jisko
1OO% pata hota h ki uska Husband kaha
hai?

Santa ne apna khatarnak dimag lagaya
or bola
.
"Vidhwa Aurat

Joke

Aaj fir Banta ne Kamaal Kr diya..

BANK me jake So Gya.

Q?

Usne Board Par Padha >

Yaha SONE par LOAN milta H

Joke

Sabhi engineers ko Infom kiya jata hai ki wo apne results aane se pehle
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Ghar ki sab
.
Chapallen belts
pipes
wires
bat
jhadu
wipar etc..
Chupa de..
.
.
Nahi to Result kharab aaya to khamakha padosiyo ko free Action Drama dekhne ko mil jayega... :p

Husband Wife Joke

Santa: Meri Wife Mujhe Naukar Samajhne Lagi Hai
Batao Main Kya Karun?

Banta: Karna Kya Hai,
2-4 Ghar Aur Pakad Aur Apna Dhandha Jama Le.

Boyfriend Joke



Boy- Hey Subscribe, Share & Comment on my video on YouTube.

Girl- I have Boyfriend.

Boy- Haan toh usko bhi bol.

Teacher Joke

5th class ka student apne dost se: Kitna MuskiL H SchooL Ki "Teacher" Se Pyar Karna,
2 Dost: kyun?

"LOVE-LETTER" Beja Tha...
Home Work Samz Ke Check kar DIA.

Joke

Aasman jitna Neela hai Wah wah Sunflower jitna peela hai.. Wah wah Pani jitna geela hai Wah wah Tumhare dimag ka NUT utna hi dheela hai

Boyfriend Joke

Meanwhile in a queue at ATM she looked in his eyes. She: I don't have a boyfriend.
He: Tu kuch bhi Kar le, line me agge nahi Jane dunga

Santa Banta Joke

Santa Ne puri Raat Mujra Dekha.
.
.
.
Mujrewali- Saheb,
Humne Apko Khush Kiya
ab Aap Hume Khush Kar Do.
.
.
.
.
.
Santa- Achha To Ab Tum Betho,
Mai Nachta Hu.\=D/ :p

Husband Wife Joke

Recent Railway Budget's Effect on Santa:
.
.
Santa:" Berth bhi confirm ho gya, char Stetion bhi gujar gye...

Wife kab milegi TT Saab.. ??

TT:" Ghochu! Wife nahi, Train mein Wi-Fi dene ko kaha gya hai.

Joke

Ek dog naye mohalle me jata hai..
dog1-mai yaha naya aaya hu mujhe yaha k boss se milna.
dog2-s$shhhh......!
BOSS msg padh rahe hai..
@7

Santa Banta Joke

Santa ne aaj uske sare purane records tod diye...
Fade joke ahead.. .
.
.
Boss:"Where were you born...??
.
Santa:"Punjab..
.
Boss:"which part ??
.
Santa:"Kya which part ??

Whole body born in Punjab...:p

Office Joke

Aansun Tera Gire To Ankhen Mere Ho,
Dil Tera Dhadke To Dhadkan Meri Ho,
Bhagwan Kare Humari Dosti Itni Gahre Ho Ki
Naukari Tum Karo Aur Salary Meri Ho!

Santa Banta Joke

Biwi raat me kapde utrte hue...
tirchi nazar se Santa ki traf dekte hue boli:
Pata he na kya karna hai..?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Santa: teri aisi ki taisi,,,
Me itni rat ko kpde nahi dhounga..!

Joke

Santa chemist ki shop pe 1 bottle le k gaya aur ek chamach liquid shopkeeper ko pila k bola- mitha hai Kya?

Dukandar bola- nahi, kyu kya h ye?

Santa - docter ne Bola chemist ki shop se urine me sugar check karwa k aao...! Wo check krane aya tha.

Joke

Santa calls Just Dial.....
santa - Sheela kaunse dance bar mein milegi.
JustDial - Sir aapke cell par sms chala gaya.
usme aap k sawal ka jawab hai .
Santa - Kaunse cell par.
JustDial - Wahi jo registeredhai 9450XXXXXX.
Santa - Oh teri wo phone to abhi meri biwi ke pass hai.
.
.
.
Justdial - Sir, just dial mein call karne ke liye sukriya.
Aap zinda bache to fir baat hogi.

Joke

Santa ne Ghar ka Darwaza ukhada or kandhe pe rakh k Bazar me gya
.
1 Admi ne poucha: o paaji,Kya Drwaza Bechna h?
.
Santa:Nhi Tala Khulwana hai Chabi gum ho gye hai.
.
Hanso mat
Joke abhi aage hai
.
.
Admi santa se: Agar ghar mai chor ghus gye to..?
.
Santa: Andar kese jayega drwaza to mere pas hai